Sometimes I wish I didn’t have any feeling. None at all.
They mess me up. I will be happy in the morning, sad at lunch, and angry in the evening.
And they are all about the same event.
Drives me crazy. So then it gets to the point that I am mad that I am angry. I mean what is that?
I wish I could tear them out and bury them far away from me. But then what does that make me?
Someone who wishes they didn’t have a basic human right. Someone who wishes they didn’t have to feel.
Feel anything at all.
Someone who only wishes for a logic thought process and no feelings to add twists and turns.
Who wishes something like that? Anyone besides me?
Or am I the only one?
Does that make me a robot want-to-be?
interesting. this makes me wonder if "no feelings" is what I want. I've (obviously) written about how I would choose not to have emotions if I could, but when you say it, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. I would be a robot. I guess what I've wanted all along is to have CONTROL over my feelings; to be able to turn them off when they hurt, or logically tell myself to stop feeling them when they're irrational. I guess I don't need a "logic[al] thought process with no feelings to add twists and turns;" I just want my feelings to follow that logical thought process.....if that makes any sense
ReplyDeleteI don't think that that the wish for control is horrible. It's that wish for control that allows us to govern our actions. but it's when we bury our feelings, ice them over, deny them and I think that is when we start to lose our abilities to empathize with others, to connect with people on an emotional level
ReplyDeleteI think you're right. Although that brings up an interesting point too. Can we ever be compassionate and caring towards others just because we're logically supposed to in certain situations? Like if we did what you said and denied our feelings completely, is it possible to be a sort of robot with an obligation to care about other people? Although I guess we still couldn't connect with others, but....
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