You leaving

I don't want to go to sleep.

Here's why once I do it's another day over. Another day closer to you leaving and I don't want you to go. Even though we are not together right now. The knowledge that you a couple minutes drive away is enough to comfort me.

Soon it will be more then a couple of hours and I don't want that. Which is selfish of me I know. I know that you need to go and that you want so badly to learn but I almost wish you didn't.

But I can't do that. I can't wish those characteristics away from you because then you wouldn't be you. And I know that if you didn't act like the person you are I wouldn't respect you so much. That then we wouldn't be such great friends.  That if it was me holding you back I would feel guilt and you would grow to despise we.

So I let you go and do my best to encourage you. Because as of right now you are meant to go and I am meant to stay.

To be honest I don't know why and I wonder if I did would it make the watching you leave over and over again hurt a little less?  Would it change that I feel as if  you move on and see new things and make new friends while I don't?  That I just sit here and wait for you to come home.